[Intro]
(Gated snare hits once, piano holds a suspended chord)
[Verse]
I filed the papers with a notary's seal
The minor variance—my heart was real
The window well, four inches too tight
Ontario Building Code, egress not right
The planner's desk is an ocean of time
Every morning inbox, a pantomime
The Property Standards division stays mute
My second unit, trapped in dispute
[Chorus]
Re: Egress deficiency four inches from the law
The clear unobstructed opening leaves a fatal flaw
We await the stamp, the blessed stamp
Pending determination on a basement so damp
This dwelling shall not be until the planner's mercy falls
[Verse]
I measure the well with a certified tape
The steel frame mocks my escape
Inspection once came, left a Notice of Concern
Now I burn, oh I burn, for the stamped return
A neighbour wrote in, objecting to light
But the Committee of Adjustment may set it right
I recite O. Reg. 332/12 in the dark
The only fire is the one inside this mark
[Chorus]
Re: Egress deficiency four inches from the law
The clear unobstructed opening leaves a fatal flaw
We await the stamp, the blessed stamp
Pending determination on a basement so damp
This dwelling shall not be until the planner's mercy falls
[Bridge]
(Key change, guitar solo begins)
I dream of the day the permit is issued
Every stud and drywall screw, no longer misused
The second unit rises from code's purgatory
But for now, just the four-inch category
(Guitar solo crescendo, then piano alone)
[Outro]
I'll check the portal once more at midnight
Hoping the status changes to "Approved" light
Until then, I'll live in this unpermitted dream
A minor variance, a bureaucratic scream
(Final gated snare hit, fade on piano)
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Re: Egress Deficiency (Four Inches Short) – Pending Minor Variance
