Further to Our Correspondence of the 14th: Site Visit #7 – Window Well Edition
Listen while you read
Re: Egress Deficiency (Four Inches Short) – Pending Minor Variance
Further to our correspondence and a subsequent 11:40 PM site inspection I conducted alone, I must address the matter of the window well.
I stood in the damp, moonlit excavation—my certified tape measure in one hand, a printout of O. Reg. 332/12 in the other. The steel frame mocked my escape, but I remained calm. I am a professional.
The Measurement
The clear unobstructed opening is four inches shy. Four inches. A fatal flaw. I knelt in the mud, my good dress pants be damned, and I measured again. And again. 3:30 AM. The fact remained: this dwelling shall not be.
A neighbour’s motion-sensor light clicked on, a silent objection. I didn't flinch. The true fire isn't in the building code; it burns in my chest, waiting for a planner’s mercy to fall onto my inbox like a blessed stamp.
The Portal
I will check the Property Standards portal again at midnight. And the next midnight. I dream of the day the permit is issued—every stud, every drywall screw singing in compliance.
Until then, this is no longer a habitable room. It is a bureaucratic scream. A minor variance, pending in an ocean of time.
Notice of continuance: The log entry for this site inspection will be filed alongside a grainy photo of the non-compliant well. Copies to follow.
