Liner Notes
[Intro] This is an important message Regarding your account Please listen carefully We have detected... ...unusual activity [Verse 1] There's a payment on your card You don't remember making Four pound eighty At 03:47 Merchant name: unlisted Location: unknown Your card is now blocked For your protection For your protection For your protection [Chorus] Did you authorise this payment? (Press one) Did you authorise this payment? (Press two) If this transaction wasn't you (WASN'T ME) If this transaction wasn't you (WAS ME) Did you authorise this payment? (Press one) Did you authorise this payment? (Press two) We take your security seriously (WASN'T ME) We take your security seriously (WAS ME) [Drop] Press one — press one — press one Press two — press two — press two Not recognised — not recognised — not recognised Press one to confirm you weren't you Press two to confirm you weren't there Press three to speak to a person Who is also a recording [Verse 2] You are caller number nine Your call is important to us We're verifying that you're you By asking what you're not Please state your mother's maiden name Please state your first-ever pet Please state the name of your street And the name of everyone You have ever been [Chorus] Did you authorise this payment? (Press one) Did you authorise this payment? (Press two) If this transaction wasn't you (WASN'T ME) If this transaction wasn't you (WAS ME) [Bridge] The merchant was the chippy The chippy on Oldham Street Half past two on Friday After six pints and a doner You said it wasn't you But the timestamp says it's you The camera says it's you Press one to admit it's you [Drop] Press one to admit it's you Press two to admit it's you All options admit it's you Thank you for your honesty Thank you for your honesty [Outro] We understand this can be distressing Your money is safe with us Your money is mostly with us Your feedback matters How did we do today? Press one for excellent Press two for excellent Your card remains frozen Your dignity remains frozen Have a lovely day (beep)
My Queue
From the archive
From the archive
Press 1 If This Wasn't You