[Intro]
(Tape rewind squeal, crackling wiretap hiss)
(Coo-bop, coo-bop, doot-doot, check the gain)
Agent Coo-47 on the frequency.
Public-access channel 3 encryption active.
This operational directive does not exist.
Compliance is strictly mandatory.
Bring the 808s in now. Ten-four. Coo-bop.

[Verse 1]
Rendezvous point confirmed: Seven Corners perimeter
Route 50 corridor, Willston Centre, look sinister
Store Number twenty-four sixty-seven, defunct facade
Nineteen eighty-nine LaserDisc stashed in the loading dock
Behind the rusted dumpster where the coaxial splits
Unredacted optical groove, twelve inches of hits
Bureau of Avian Affairs scrambled the tactical frequency
Magpie telemetry scanning for aux-cord leakage, see?
Plug in the wired cans, no Bluetooth on the perimeter
Every cordless headphone ping makes the radar look gloomier
Keep your trench coat zipped, keep the trench coat low
We got four minutes flat before the sanitizing crow.

[Chorus]
Coo-bop, doot-doot, chirp chirp, copy that
Twelve-inch disc in the loading bay rat trap
Hide the pumpernickel crumbs, don't leave a trace
The Avian Grid is all over this place
Coo-bop, doot-doot, chirp chirp, stay in line
Bureau frequency jamming on ninety-two time
Coo-bop!

[Verse 2]
Classified bread update: watch the rye and the sourdough
Sanitation crows patrol the curb in a dark row
Redacting every crumb with an acid-washed beak
One speck of pumpernickel gets you court-martialed next week
I claim prosecutorial immunity in avian court
They tried to subpoena my feathers, I filed the countersupport
The Deutschmann brothers never saw this coming in '21
Battery of the Month Club hiding launch codes for everyone
Tandy Corporation specs baked inside the composite track
Analog FM audio with digital burst attacks
Don't feed the ducks at the pool, they got wiretap relays
Swallow the microfilm, boys, we got thirty-eight days.

[Bridge]
(Static cut, radio tuner dial squeal, beat drops to bare kick and sub-bass)
Attention rogue operatives:
If intercepted by magpie signal-jammers, do not speak.
Execute the low-frequency coo-bop countermeasure immediately.
(Beatboxing鳩-coo rhythm: *coo-tk-coo-tk-doot-doot-chirp*)
Sub-bass override initiated.

[Chorus]
Coo-bop, doot-doot, chirp chirp, copy that
Twelve-inch disc in the loading bay rat trap
Hide the pumpernickel crumbs, don't leave a trace
The Avian Grid is all over this place
Coo-bop, doot-doot, chirp chirp, stay in line
Bureau frequency jamming on ninety-two time
Coo-bop!

[Outro]
Falls Church clear.
Six-one-nine-eight Arlington Boulevard is sanitized.
LaserDisc secured in an antistatic sleeve.
Pigeon Unit One signing off.
Tell the crows we have prosecutorial immunity.
Coo-bop.
Doot-doot.
(Tape stop sound, abrupt carrier tone)