[Intro]

[Verse 1]
Tuesday morning at nine-oh-one Memorial Ave
Best five-minute run a tired old builder could have
I took my Stanley tape, checked every joint in my head
Swore upon my old man's name every line had been read
Walked through the automatic doors with my head held high
Poured black espresso in the lot beneath a cold grey sky
I fired the F-150
I fired the F-150, reached down on the bench seat
And felt the kind of sudden dread that knocks you off your feet

[Chorus]
It’s the half-inch brass elbow walk of shame
Nobody else on this job site that I can blame
The building code demands that every run is plumb and straight
But a human heart is crooked, boys, and prone to show up late
You can square up the foundation, you can bevel out the seam
Still you’re marching back for fittings on a cold municipal beam

[Verse 2]
I hit the clutch and killed the spark and let my shoulders sag
Checked through the cardboard carton and the heavy paper bag
Got my Oatey cement and my pre-drilled strapping bands
Got the roll of teflon tape gripped inside my calloused hands
I swore thirty seconds back I had the whole drain rough-in made
Now I’m staring at the tailpipe while my self-respect is flayed
Gold cornuto on my chest swinging heavy like a lead
Reminding me of every single thing my father said

[Chorus]
In the half-inch brass elbow walk of shame
Nobody else on this job site that I can blame
The building code demands that every run is plumb and straight
But a human heart is crooked, boys, and prone to show up late
You can square up the foundation, you can bevel out the seam
Still you’re marching back for fittings on a cold municipal beam

[Bridge]
Across the salt-white asphalt I took that measured stride
Swallowing forty years of pride that had nowhere left to hide
I pushed that slider door and walked back to the plumbing shelf
Prepared to look a counterman and reckon with myself
He didn't even turn his head, he didn't blink an eye
Just tapped the yellow laminate and watched the traffic by
Right there beside the register, polished shiny clean
Sat the ninety-degree fitting that he already had seen
Yeah, that he already had seen

[Guitar Solo]
Two dollar steel cries like an uninsulated pipe in a winter breeze over steady brushed snare

[Verse 3]
Two dollars and sixteen cents laid down upon the pine
He handed me the yellow slip without a single sign
A real contractor’s soul ain't made of stone that never cracks
It’s how he walks that asphalt when he’s gotta double back
Brenda told me take my time, don't rush the copper sweat
Some lessons in this northern frost you never do forget

[Chorus]
It’s the half-inch brass elbow walk of shame
Nobody else on this job site that I can blame
The building code demands that every run is plumb and straight
But a human heart is crooked, boys, and prone to show up late
You can square up the foundation, you can bevel out the seam
Still you’re marching back for fittings on a cold municipal beam
You can square up the foundation, you can bevel out the seam
Still you’re marching back for fittings on a cold municipal beam

[Outro]
Keep the receipt.
Tax deduction.
For human frailty.
See you next Tuesday.