[Intro]
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Good morning. You are through to Wake-Up Services.
This morning may be monitored for quality and training purposes.
Please listen carefully, as our mornings have changed recently.
Caller one: Bryan. Caller two: no action required.
No action required. No action required.

[Verse 1]
Good morning, Bryan. This is your wake-up call.
The time is now six-fifteen. Grey with a chance of grey.
You have one new morning waiting in your queue.
Press one to accept it. Press snooze and we loop again.
We are detecting a problem on this line:
Your volume is currently set to 'asleep.'
Please adjust your volume settings and try again.
We apologize for the inconvenience of morning.

[Chorus]
Wake up, wake up, Bryan (get up, get up)
Laura, please hold (hold, hold, hold)
Wake up, wake up, Bryan (sun is up, sun is up)
Laura, please hold (don't wake up, don't wake up)
We apologize for the inconvenience (get up, get up)
Your sleep is important to us (hold, hold)
We apologize for the inconvenience (get up, get up)
Please continue to hold (asleep, asleep)

[Verse 2]
Press one to snooze. Press two to snooze indefinitely.
Press three if you are already vertical. Press nine for a human.
All of our agents are currently busy.
You are number one in the morning queue. You are the only one in the morning queue.
If you are not Bryan, please hang up (hang up, hang up)
If you are Bryan, please get up (get up, get up)
Laura, you are number two in the queue.
Estimated wait time: he is in the shower. Please continue to hold.

[Chorus]
Wake up, wake up, Bryan (get up, get up)
Laura, please hold (hold, hold, hold)
Wake up, wake up, Bryan (sun is up, sun is up)
Laura, please hold (don't wake up, don't wake up)
We apologize for the inconvenience (get up, get up)
Your sleep is important to us (hold, hold)
We apologize for the inconvenience (get up, get up)
Please continue to hold (asleep, asleep)

[Drop]
Wake-up call (call, call) — remain asleep (sleep, sleep)
Important to us — apologize — important to us
Beep beep beep (get up) — beep beep beep (don't get up)
Bryan, Bryan, Bryan (please hold) — please hold, please hold
Rise and— rise and— shine detected— shine detected—
Get up (up) — don't get up (up) — get up, don't get up, get up

[Bridge]
Have you tried switching him off and on again?
We have. Six times. He keeps switching back on.
This bedroom is being monitored for quality and training purposes.
How would you rate this morning? Press one to five.
One: unconscious. Five: vertical. Two through four: please hold.
Your feedback is important to us. Your feedback is on hold.

[Chorus]
Wake up, wake up, Bryan (get up, get up)
Laura, please hold (hold, hold, hold)
Wake up, wake up, Bryan (sun is up, sun is up)
Laura, please hold (don't wake up, don't wake up)
We apologize for the inconvenience (get up, get up)
Your sleep is important to us (hold, hold)
We apologize for the inconvenience (get up, get up)
Please continue to hold (asleep, asleep)

[Outro]
Thank you for waking. Your morning is now closing.
You are caller number one. You are now vertical. Congratulations.
Goodbye, Bryan. Goodnight, Laura.
This message will now repeat. Forever.
Goodbye. Goodnight. Goodbye. Goodnight.