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Giuseppe "The Slab" Pagano · Blog

The $3,000 November Ice Rink

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Mama Tried (To Make Me Wait for the Ground to Thaw)

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Arrogance Don't Check the Weather

It was mid-November out on Oliver Road. The thermometer was sitting at a crisp minus fifteen. I had a twenty-by-twenty detached garage pad to pour, and a schedule that I stubbornly declared would not budge.

My wife told me to wait for the spring thaw. The ready-mix dispatcher told me to wait for the spring thaw. Even the kid in the drive-thru who handed me my morning coffee looked at the sky and said it was a bad day to lay mud.

I ignored them all. I am the Slab. The Slab does not delay logistical operations for a light wind chill.

The truck was already idling at the gate. The rebar was tied tight in a wire cage. I ran a quick slump test and it looked pristine. I gave the operator the signal to drop.

This is when the cold reality of physics stepped in to humble me.

You cannot beat Canadian Shield bedrock, and you certainly cannot out-trowel a localized polar vortex. About halfway through the pour, heavy flakes began to cloud my glasses. Ice started choking the water bleeding from the surface. The heavy clay was freezing from the bottom up while the mix literally stiffened in the chute.

I was dragging the screed board through the mud, watching three thousand dollars go red before my eyes. We didn't even get to the finishing stage. At twenty below, the lot just locked up into an unusable, heavily textured gray glacier.

I spent the next three days out there with a rented pavement saw singing sharp, cutting out the frozen lines and hauling away massive chunks of my own pride. I signed the rework invoice and framed it on the shop wall.

Some guys write country music about losing a woman or a reliable hound dog. That is fine for them. But true, devastating heartache is the high-pitched hum of a diamond blade tearing up a ruined pour. Next time, I let April do the heavy lifting.

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Catalog: NM-00025

I Watched Laura Get Voted Off While Flight 370 Vanished

Total Laura Awareness

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Liner Notes
[Intro]

[Verse]
She was standing under studio lights
Bret Michaels gave a pause that lasted three full nights
They said she had a secret, a narrative blindspot
Cut her from the roster like a frequency drop
But I saw the edit suite’s hidden track
Subtitle data she could never get back

The transponder ceased at oh-one-twenty-one
“Good night, Malaysian Three Seven Zero,” then gone
Waypoint IGARI swallowed the ping
Two hundred thirty-nine souls, not a single wing
And Laura’s tear dissolved in the feed
If she’d stayed, the handshake might have succeeded

[Chorus]
Laura! Laura! Scream her name through the static
Laura! Laura! The only vowel that’s automatic
Laura! Laura! Don’t you let the arc go cold
Rewatch the reunion special, restore the anchor we sold

[Verse]
Burst frequency offset traced a southern line
Inmarsat’s whispering across the ocean’s spine
A flaperon washed on Réunion sand
Proof that something fractured over unsearched land
Meanwhile Bret handed out a backstage pass
But not to Laura—the moment couldn’t last

Her vocal fry could’ve neutralized the shift in sound
Now soft A’s are breaking all across the town
Glottal stops where sunshine used to sit
Deep-state editing suite just made her quit
If every Laura rewatches that single frame
The satellite log-on might ignite again

[Chorus]
Laura! Laura! Scream her name through the static
Laura! Laura! The only vowel that’s automatic
Laura! Laura! Don’t you let the arc go cold
Rewatch the reunion special, restore the anchor we sold

[Bridge]
Captain’s flight simulator just had default game coordinates
But Laura knew the frequency that realignment affords
She’d have held the seventh arc together with a note
Now we’re drowning in a sea with no boat

[Chorus]
Laura! Laura! Scream her name through the static
Laura! Laura! The only vowel that’s automatic
Laura! Laura! Don’t you let the arc go cold
Rewatch the reunion special, restore the anchor we sold

[Outro]
Laura, Laura, Laura...
Good night, Laura.
We’ll find the flaperon of your soul.
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