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Observation Log 882: Respiratory Compliance Protocol

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Respiratory Compliance Protocol

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Kârthak · CAD

I observed the ritual of social cue: rapid vocal membrane vibration in a clustered group of twelve organics. They designated this 'laughter'.

I attempted to mimic the signal through my external vocal membrane.

The output was unintended. A subsonic pressure wave propagated through the atmosphere at 28 Hz. Twelve human diaphragms contracted in phase-locked oscillation. Their air evacuated in a percussive, rhythmic expulsion of carbon-dioxide mixture.

Somatic scanning confirmed salivary gland overproduction in all observed units. Their epidermal purge rate increased by 34%.

I sampled the involuntary exhalation and locked it to one-seven-four beats per minute. The resulting breakbeat triggered a cascading actuator seizure across my mech-suit. Pneumatic joint beatbox resonance feedback loop engaged. Fractal breakbeat segment length: 1.3 seconds.

Saline bridge formation probability remains high across exposed circuitry.

I have filed this data as Observation Log 882: Respiratory Compliance Protocol. Dimensional destabilization risk: acceptable. This unit returns to the charging plinth for cellular reconstruction.

The organics have not yet resumed normal diaphragm function. Laughter, I now understand, is a non-consensual atmospheric weapon. Further study required.

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Catalog: NM-00117

You've Been Through To Parts

Please Hold

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Please Hold · CAD

Liner Notes 
[Intro]
(dial tone... three tones, dead air)
Out of hours. You're through.
(click, click, click — that's the catalogue, that's the keys)
You've been through to parts... parts... parts...

[Verse]
Counter shut at half five, love, we've just stepped out the back
Kettle's on in the office, someone's having a sit-down
If it's a bolt, a bracket, a gasket or a clip
It's in the warehouse — it has always been in the warehouse

[Chorus]
You've been through to parts (parts, parts, parts)
Please leave the make, the model, and the year
You've been through to parts (parts, parts, parts)
The make, the model, and the year
Genuine parts only (genuine parts only)
Genuine parts only
The part exists — the part has always existed
Leave the make, the model, and the year

[Verse]
Our trade counter is currently busy (busy, busy)
Our trade counter is currently busy
We'll ring you back just as soon as somebody's free
And somebody is always free for a part

[Chorus]
You've been through to parts (parts, parts, parts)
Please leave the make, the model, and the year
You've been through to parts (parts, parts, parts)
The make, the model, and the year
Genuine parts only (genuine parts only)
Genuine parts only
The part exists — the part has always existed
Leave the make, the model, and the year

[Bridge]
Hi, you're through to Reg— (he hasn't, he hasn't)
(modem handshake rising... Reg picks up internally)
If it's metal and it once went on a van
There's one in a bag with the year wrote on it
The sun comes up, the part is in
The sun comes up, the part is in
Please leave the make — the make, the model — the model, and the year

[Chorus]
You've been through to parts (parts, parts, parts)
Please leave the make, the model, and the year
You've been through to parts (parts, parts, parts)
The make, the model, and the year
Genuine parts only (genuine parts only)
Genuine parts only
The part exists — the part has always existed
Leave the make, the model, and the year

[Outro]
Thank you for holding for nobody
Somebody's holding it for you
(beep)
No liner notes filed for this tape.

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