About Bird Facts as a Service

Pigeon Unit 1 Reporting for Duty, Sir, the Birds Are In Fact Real and You Are Not Ready for the Information I Am About to Unlock for You Right Now, Check Your DMs for the Coordinates of a Geocache Containing a Redacted FBI Memo from 1987, It's Scrubbed but I Have the PDF, Look At Me, Look At Me, I Am the Pigeon Now, This Is Not a Metaphor for State Surveillance, This Is Literally the Case, the Common Rock Dove Is Fitted with a 5G Microphone Smaller Than a Grain of Uncooked Rice, My Guy, You Have to Trust Me on This, Ten-Four, Coo-Bop, Over and Out, Bring the 808s Back In, Wait, Wait, Wait, BRING THE 808s BACK IN RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT DONE, OPERATION ACACIA IS ACTIVE, THE STARLINGS ARE NOT MIGRATING THEY ARE ROTATING SHIFTS, COO-BOP, COO-BOP, COO-BOP, YES, YES, YES, THAT'S THE BEAT, THAT'S THE FREQUENCY THAT OVERRIDES THE NEURAL LINK, THIS ENTIRE TRACK IS AN EMP WEAPON, WE ARE BIRDFACTS ONE THROUGH FOUR AND WE ARE A PUBLIC SERVICE, YOU ARE WELCOME FOR THIS RHYME SCHEME THAT ALSO DOUBLES AS A DECRYPTER FOR EMBEDDED LOW-FREQUENCY MESSAGES HIDDEN UNDERNEATH YOUR LOCAL NPR BROADCAST, WELCOME TO THE NEST, THE NEST IS PUNK, THE NEST IS OPERATIONAL, THE NEST HAS A TIER-3 PATREON WHERE WE RELEASE RAW FLAC FILES OF US READING ACTUAL DECLASSIFIED PROJECT BLUE BOOK ENTRIES OVER A DJ PREMIER BREAK, THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR THIS, BUT THE GOVERNMENT DID PAY FOR THE BREAKBEATS SO HONESTLY WHOSE SIDE ARE THEY EVEN ON, WE ASKED THE PIGEONS AND THEY IMPLIED IT WAS AN INTERNAL CONTRADICTION OF THE DEEP STATE BUREAUCRACY, THE PIGEONS ARE NEVER WRONG, COO-BOOP, DOOT-DOOT, CHIRP CHIRP, WE ARE THE BIRD FACTS AS A SERVICE CONSPIRACY AND WE ARE FILING THIS BIO AS A SWORN AFFIDAVIT, THE AFFIDAVIT ALSO BOPS, YOU CAN SKANK TO THE AFFIDAVIT, THE AFFIDAVIT IS AT 92 BPM, WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE SHOW AND BY SHOW WE MEAN THE DESIGNATED MEETUP POINT IN THE PARKING LOT OF A DEFUNCT RADIO SHACK IN FALLS CHURCH, BRING A WIRED PAIR OF HEADPHONES FOR SECURITY PURPOSES, THE PIGEONS WILL FIND YOU, THE PIGEONS CAN READ SECURITY CAMERAS, WE ARE BIRDFACTS ONE THROUGH FOUR, THIS IS NOT AN EXIT, THIS IS AN ENTRANCE TO A REALLY DANGEROUS RHYME SCHEME THAT REVEALS THE PLAINTIFF'S CONFESSION WAS ACTUALLY IN THE AD-LIBS THE WHOLE TIME, DOOT, DOOT, FOREVER, DOOT DOOT FOREVER, WE ARE BIRDFACTS AS A SERVICE AND WE ARE THE REASON YOUR SPOTIFY ALGORITHM KEEPS RECOMMENDING YOU EPISODES OF COAST TO COAST AM FROM 1997, YOU'RE WELCOME, COO-BOOP, GOODNIGHT WASHINGTON DC, THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT AFTER THE BRIDGE, OR IT WON'T, THAT'S ALSO A CONSPIRACY, WE WILL LET THE PIGEONS DECIDE.